My Attachment Parenting Style Part 1

                                     Our Parenting Style: Mod. Attachement

   ***Warning you may not agree with my parenting beliefs.***
     I believe that living in hippie clad Ocean Beach has worn me down to somewhat of a softie. I have worked for many years with children and I felt like I had a good grasp of what kind of parenting I was going to do when I became a parent...... Yea well the view of being a cold, hands off, pro-medicine, disciplinarian is out the window. You have to understand that I as a person before I had Noel was not a very touchy feely type of person. I use to rather have a casual handshake then a hug. Thats where my mind was with my parenting style. There would be no question that I loved my daughter but, I wasnt going to be easy going. YEAAA.....WELL..... Nah Thats went out the window with my new found role as a mommy who loves to research anything and everything. (And a stint in laid back Ocean Beach.) I call my parenting style a little bit of a modified Attachment Parenting style.

     You may ask well what the heck is that???? Alot of you reading this may actually ask that because in my area I feel kind of like the lone ranger... : / So here is the best definition I have found.

   "The term, "attachment parenting", was conceived by pediatrician William Sears and his wife Martha, to describe a highly responsive, attentive style of caring for a child. Attachment parenting promotes physical and emotional closeness between parent and child through what the Sears refer to as the "Baby Bs." The Baby Bs are bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, bedsharing and boundary building. Attachment parenting advocates encourage parents to hold their baby often in the early sensitive weeks of life to foster bonding. Breastfeeding is promoted because it enhances the mother's natural instincts to respond to her baby through physical closeness, hormonal influences and promotion of attentiveness. Both babywearing, the practice of carrying the baby on the parents' body with an infant carrier or sling, and bedsharing, parents and babies sleeping in the same bed, provide additional opportunities for closeness. Boundary building is a discipline philosophy that entails responding to the genuine, age appropriate needs of the child and using gentle guidance. All of the Baby Bs are aimed at promoting a trusting, intuitive relationship between parents and baby through the physical and emotional closeness that makes it easier to know and appropriately respond to the baby's needs. While some people might see the Baby B's as a set of rules they must follow, they are just recommended tools that can and should be individualized for each family and parenting situation. (http://www.ivillage.com/what-attachment-parenting/6-a-127876)"

    I believe we have followed this model almost to a Tee. The first of the Bs he talks about is bonding.     

  These couple pictures are of our little Noel while still in the hospital after she was born.

Bonding:

  I think alot of people would wonder if Noel is ever going to learn how to walk because she is always being held and cuddled. The preparent me called this spoiling. :o/ The parent me calls this bonding. Its a very instinctual and primal thing. A baby being close not only helps to bond her to her parents but it is very beneficial to breastfeeding. I believe a topic that would fall into this category is the Cry it out method aka CIO. My personal belief is that a baby under the age of 1 cries because they need something. They cry because they are hungry, their hiney is wet, or they are upset and need comfort from their parents. So by letting them cry it out for whatever reason teaches them that they can not trust you for their needs. Here is quote from a article about research into this topic, "In her recent piece for Psychology Today, Darcia Narvaez, an associate professor of psychology at Notre Dame, writes that when babies are stressed, their bodies release cortisol into their systems -- a toxic hormone that kills brain cells. Considering their brains are only 25 percent developed when they're born full-term and grow rapidly in their first year, killing off baby brain cells is a huge no bueno. Narvaez notes that studies out of Harvard, Yale, Baylor and other prestigious institutions show that said killing off of baby brain cells can lead to the higher probability of ADHD, poor academic performance and anti-social tendencies, and that human babies are hardwired for hands-on comfort and care.(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denene-millner/cry-it-out_b_1163864.html)" Call me a softie or call me  wonderful mother for not letting my LO sit and cry and cry I just dont feel like with the research and my personal convictions that the CIO method is the method for us.



-Found this pic on tumblr thats where credits go to.

Breastfeeding:

 Breastfeeding is the next B, and its my favorite! Besides loving your child, I believe breastfeeding is the single most important thing you can do for your child if you want the best for them. I have fought to breastfeed my LO. However, Im saving that for a different post. This post is more about my opinion not my bio. My opinion is that breast is best. (Sorry I have a ton of pics for this topic!)

  As a pro breastfeeding mommy it really strikes a nerve when I hear another mother has went to formula either just because they didnt seek help with breastfeeding or just because(aka they dont have a reason). Im not sitting here saying your a horrible mother for feeding formula, but I am saying there is somethng better you could be doing. In my area, I feel like more mothers are choosing formula because they are uneducated or lazy. Like I said Ive had to fight to breastfeed Ive even switched pediatricians due to wanting to breastfeed. There is very few mothers that can not breastfeed. However, I have known a mother that couldnt... she is one of my close friends... she tried everything; almonds,water,mothers mik tea, lactation cookies, etc, and she could only get half a ounce out when she pumped which was not a possibility because she had to work. This is a momma that tried her hardest and it just didnt work out. Of course for this momma the next best thing is formula and I truly applaud her trying so hard to fight for breastfeeding.  However, what gets me the most is those few other people in my life whom have decided to not breastfeed because of what is best for them not their child. Dont get me wrong you have to be dedicated to breastfeeding. There is a good amount of around 6 weeks of conditioning and pain and alot of patience that is needed to learn yourself and for your baby to learn. However, the pain does go away but the foundation you are laying down for your childs future health is there forever. I know of another momma that quit breastfeeding because of the amount of pain to her nipples. :o/ Honestly, if she would have went to a lactation specialist I bet the odds were that the baby didnt have a good latch. It really makes me sad that these momma didnt find it necessary to fight for whats best. ***Please dont think I am talking down to those who formula feed their babies due to extensive reasons. I just really really do believe breast is best and that mothers should sacrifice for their LO what is best for them. Which is breastfeeding!***


-Found these on the Breast is Best site on facebook

 

There is something so special about my daughters and my time while breastfeeding. I really believe it has strengthened our bond. The feeling to see that your LO has chunky little thighs and a buddha belly due to what you have done for her by breastfeeding is powerful. I plan on BLW, delaying solids, and breastfeeding into her toddler years. (All of that will be covered in another blog) I am posting these next two pictures to show the benefit of breastfeeding as opposed to formula feeding.

-Pictures from Breast is best facebook group

I dont really believe I need to say anything else on that topic of breastfeeding vs formula until a next blog.

I also have one last picture that has a few interesting fact.

Breast is best! Fight for what is best! Sheesh that is alot..... there is alot to cover in a parenting style so I am going to do the next post on the last few Bs and how I approach them. Plus I have errands to run and it is that time! I am going to leave you with a few of my very first Nursing in Public pictures. Photo credits to Lexi Bedford!

-<3Kim



Breast is Best Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/AntiCryItOutCommunity?ref=ts&fref=ts#!/Wemakemilk?fref=ts