My Testimony #BeanAndrew

   Our church is currently going through a Disciple sermon series that really challenged me this past Sunday. This last Sunday we learned about Andrew the brother to Peter whom introduced him to Jesus. And to sum it up the main thought was; If you have been introduced, you need to be introducing others. #Beanandrew (If youd love to hear the whole sermon here is the link: http://vimeo.com/98388973 its a great one!)

  I'm a shy person by nature. I am very strong in my beliefs, but I am shy. So I thought to myself.... when was the last time I've given my testimony. The answer to that was at a job interview earlier this year, but before that-Never nope not even people closest to me know this story. By no means am I ashamed in my beliefs. I guess I've just not put myself in the situation to have someone ask my about my personal testimony. So I thought to myself what a better way then to share it on my blog for the world to see the power of Christ in me. Soooooo here it goes. :)
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    I wasnt brought up in a religious Christian family, just a Christian part of America. By no means is this a bash on my family by any means everyone has their own way to find the Lord and theirs is just down a different path then mine is. I respect that. With that being said the only time I knew or heard anything about God was when my friends would invite me to church in middle school and high school. I did one stint of church camp at ridgecrest and that was my first eye opening experience. I knew nothing about church or God or religion, but I knew my hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I would hear the music at the conference. I left that conference unsure and honestly embarassed and confused. From that stand point I felt like a idiot.... I didnt know the Bible.... I didnt know the order of the books in the Bible in order like everyone else... At that point I thought it was more important to know the facts rather then knowing what I know now..... how embarassing...... I found myself at that point closed down and rather against the whole idea of being involved in anything that has to do with the church... or people who could obviously see I didnt know Ruth from Mary. (See this goes back to my being shy issue... Young me really cared alot about what people thought of me. And it upset me to think people would think I was dumb by any means.)

    From that point we jump to 2006, my great grandmother was on her deathbed. I was 17/18 about to graduate high school spending every minute I could by her nursing home bedside. She was a fiesty little lady with a attitude to boot. She knew what she wanted and she got it. She was independent to the point of be 90+ still working on her prized elephant ears against doctors orders. It killed me seeing her locked up in a nursing home dependent on others for her well being. It still rings through my ears when I think of her and one of her last statements she addressed talking to me... "She was ready to be out of that place and with the Lord." She passed that October, a month or so after I started college. He funeral was in a beautiful old school house in Greeneville,TN. (Actually, my grandmother went to school there when she was little but the closed it down and turned it into a funeral home. Crazy I know.) There was family and friends a plenty. My dad had a hard time with her passing. But I also know when its my time to be strong and that day I was strong for him. What kept me strong though was the comfort of the pastor in the services nice words. He spoke of heaven and how my great grandmother wasnt in pain anymore and at the end he offered a open invitation to pray for salvation and make Jesus Christ my personal savior. And you know what that day I did. It seemed like in that moment and in that event it clicked. In my sadness and my lowness there was a man whom walked this same Earth as me and died for me and my family and our sins. There was also a man whom sent his one and only Son on this path when he knew the ending to his story. How moving and how special that was to me. How comforting to feel that vast amount of love. Thats all I knew and I believed it. I started going to church with my then boyfriend and friends and about a half a year after that I was baptized.

 

   At this point in life I was in college. Well basically I did the college thing... went a lil bit wild. My relationship with God became a distant thought. Never was it gone. I didnt stop believeing in Him. I just wasnt walking with him. I would categorize it in the trying to find myself on my own. Thus, a bit lost. :/

  In this wild and crazy time of my life I stumbled along, but found a gem. A mister Christopher Walton. This Chris character at the time we found each other was equally lost in this thing we call life. He was raised in a Catholic family. Never did he really say he was full on Catholic but his family was. The few times that he went to my Southern Baptist Church it did nothing for him besides bore him. And the few times that I went to his families Catholic church it did nothing for me but scare and wear me out(stand up sit down kneel stand up kiss your neighbor sit down).*PS* No Offense to anyone this was just my take on the experience.** Thus we were both pushed a little bit farther from organized church all together.
  
   It was also the point in my life when I found my grandfathers health going down hill. He had cancer of which He went to be with the Lord within months. To say my world caved in was pretty accurate. All the hours trying to prove myself to my then boyfriend on top of spending every free minute I had in the hospital with my grandfather on top of a bit of a eating disorder and a new found obsession with running alot was my new reality. I think God at this time placed Christopher in my life for a reason. He was my rock. He drove me to the nursing home the day my grandfather passed and was just there for the immense amount of tears and mental breakdowns that happened. Never had I had that before in my life. My grandfather was buried in Illinois.

    Christopher even offered to go up north with me risking his job. It was this experience that I knew that he was my one and only, and I fought for him. I thank God everyday for having him while I was going through this new low. God only knows where I would be today with out him. **Okay sorry this story is going to get less sad I promise.**
  
   After my grandfather passed I found myself at a crossroad that brought me back closer to my Heavenly Father. All this crap and partying I was doing was trivial compared to the life I want to have and the people I was neglecting. I dove into my college classes and graduated with my degree in 2011. Christopher had graduated earlier that year and was gone to San Diego for his first big Rad job. We got married just before I graduated in 2011. He was actually home for a week and then back out to California he went. Life happened after I graduated and well..... It was messy but out to San Diego I went to live with my new husband. :)))

  We loved being newlyweds in San Diego. It was us. We depended on each other. There was no one else to depend on. It was a great time in our relationship. I think God provided this experience for us. Who would have thought in a million years Id be living in California. Just so happened we were 2 blocks for a awesome contemporary Baptist church that we visited and instantly fell in love with. It was full of people who were our age, they didnt care if we had jeans on or if they had surf shorts on, the music was awesome, and most of all the pastor Loved people and Loved God! What could be better?!
   
    Well let me tell you what it got better.... after months of trying on April 1st(OH NO it was not a joke) we found out we were expecting. I had problems early on to the point that I was a day to hours from miscarrying according to the Doctor we found due to such low levels of progesterone. You see I started bleeding at 6 weeks and no one would see me. I called nearly every OB in San Diego and no one would see me.... I had become desperate and was crying on the phone to a DR that specialized in INVITRO and she told me to come in. This was God. He was there in my desperation and He saved our precious lil angel. I had all day sickness.... Christopher had to give me shots every night... I was miserable... but we were pregnant and we were overjoyed! We knew that there was no question we would be rasing our DAUGHTER in church and in the Lord. After all it was It was the Big Man whom gifted us this precious angel. Months go by and it comes the time that I have hit the cut off date for me to fly home and have our daughter. For certain reasons unnamed I had a hard time being home. I was placed on bedrest due to placenta previa(of which the SD dr told me nothing about). I started bleeding again which resulted in a ambulance ride to the hospital while Christopher was driving across country home. Lets just say he got home quicker then expected. Things were fine at that point. A few weeks later I was bleeding again. That resulted in a overnight hospital stay at 34 weeks. And at 37 weeks on a wheelchair bound visit to Dollywood I started bleeding more then I had previous times. My placenta ruptured and let me tell you by the grace of God we were close enough to our hospital that we had a beautiful daughter and even though I lost alot of blood and was close to a hysterectomy(SP?) I was fine...... This may have not been the same story if Id been sitting at home and not just 5 minutes from the hospital.... In all actuality of it I could not be here typing this story. This was God! You can tell me it was luck but, I know the truth! God was with me and he save our daughter a second time. During this time he has provided for us by placing Christopher in jobs and oddly having random money show up when we really needed it. He sustains! 4 weeks after Noel was born we found a contemporary church here close to us and let me tell you what God has shown himself to us so much over this last year and half of being there. We have a community of amazing people there with us. We have been blessed to be placed into a learning group with people our age to do life with and cry with and praise God with and we are all the better for them and our church. I have never been closer to God. My relationship with Christ is growing stronger every day that goes by. A current study I am doing has shown me just how dearly God loves me and I have no clue as to why I have been distant for so long. He never lost hope in me. We are in a new battle everyday but God is good all the time. He is Mighty to save.

Let me please include my two favorite verses:
1 Peter 2:9 "But you are a chosen ppl, a royal preisthood, a holy nation, Gods special possession that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I do hope if you have got to this point in this blog I have done my part to introduce you! If you have any questions about a Having a relationship with our Savior.... Please feel free to contact me! If I cant answer your questions I can direct you to some great people who will unjudgingly love to love you and answer your questions. In the meanwhile, if you dont have a realtionship with Christ I pray for you to find the comfort we have found living our life for our Heavenly Father.

 

<3 Kim

This is me...take it or leave it.....

This is a general blog kinda to go along with my introducation blog.... This is me take it or leave it.....

-I make it very hard for people/anyone to really get to know the real me.... Its just in my nature..... Id say maybe a handful of people know me good enough to where Ill joke around with them and be open....
-I find it very very very hard to trust people.... To this point there are about a handful of people whom I would actually let watch Noel.... If I dont trust you... You absolutely can not watch what is most precious in this world to me.... If you have in any way ever broken my trust just forget it...
-In person I am very introverted.... I dont like big crowds... Id rather sit at home and read a book... Small talk isnt really my strong point thus I dont care for it much.... Also, I like what I say to be fact based.... Thus, when Im asked a question Im not certain on Id rather go home and read into it rather then blurt out something that isnt necessarily truth...
-I as a person whom saw her life revolving around a educational atmosphere always had the general belief that people always have the option to improve themselves and that they ultimately want to better themselves and that they deserve to be better.... However, I have found in my life experience that some people are content not doing these things at all.....
-I as a person hate drama.... I hate people CRAVING the need to be in my business....
-I use to think people were generally good..... and not just good in front of your face so that they can get whatever they want out of you but then turn around and talk trash about you behind your back.... the later is what I have become to know is true with a good portion of people....
-I use to believe that trying to better your family whether by living healthy or living your life for Christ or working hard to provide for your family was something people would come to brag about and be happy for, instead these days people use that sort of thing to look at you and say "see they go to church or they eat organic so they think they are better then us"
-I use to think that ultimately my opinion didnt matter about topics, but now having a daughter has opened my eyes to the fact that my opinion matters because of how I choose to raise her and what kind of person we are producing
-Things I am very passionate about(breastfeeding,natural parenting, holistic dog food, holistic living, healthy diets especially for little ones, childrens rights for a happy healthy Christ centered childhood, God recognized marriage) certain topics so if the topic arises yes I will in fact be VERY VERY OPINIONATED and will usually pull facts out that I have actually read into and researched and believe....
-My husband and I are not the norm... whether that is because we have not always been stuck in this bubble known as east TN or for whatever other reason... we are choosing to live and parent differently then what most around us seem to believe ... however, we see it as best.... so no people I am not blindly leading my husband.... You dont have to go home and say poor poor Noel Kim is crazy and Christopher just goes along with the ride... We actually as a married couple sit down and talk about EVERYTHING... everything from what food to feed Noel next to what our feelings are about different topics like how to raise our child.... so No people its not just me....


I have a beautiful family and a roof over my head and heat when its cold and parents that are always a call away for help.... but with all the blessings I wonder why life has changed me to have this just negative outlook and/ or negative influences around me..... Why did I have to experience these people or these event to get me to the above conclusions or thoughts?.... I remember one of my first small group meetings we did a small activity with three different people with different characteristics and it baffled me to hear most everyone say they didnt know a person with some of these certain undesirable characteristics.... ....

At our weekly church small group meeting there were a few questions and one that really struck me was, "What do I as a Christian think a Christians characteristics should be?" There was a ton of great answers... humble, caring, patient,... but my sole answer was genuine..... Genuine to me is a characteristic that combines alot of other good characteristics... A person whom is genuine is a person whom is real, they care about you overall, they want what is best for you in every situation, they are helpful when needed, they wont stab you in the back for their betterment, they dont mooch or take advantage of you because they want whats for you, they encourage you when you are down and like I said they are just real they arent one thing infront of you and then another behind you.....


Let go into a situational experience:

***I am very opinionated(yet, again!)***
 I think sometimes my opinion is soooooo strong because I see so many offensive things.... This picture above caused a little stir on my personal facebook page because more then likely the way I worded the intro to this picture. In my very honest opinion I know that this product is crap combined into a cute lil monkey shape.... Please look at the ingredients.... I found it offensive that this product would A)be made for childrens consumption  B) That this would be given to my child to eat.... It is my full belief just like I believe in the Lord above that if something is not in some way nutritional for my child it should not be consumed.... seriously the carnauba wax that you see there in the ingredients list is used also in car wax.... exactly what I think should be polluting my precious angels body right?! (I understand some parents dont look this deep into things and to each their own.... I do and I find it crazy parents wouldnt look into it<--Personal opinion of which Im entitled to) Thus I was soooo offended I posted about it and yes maybe it came off insensitive and maybe judgemental but in my mind I had the whole world agreeing with me because this product is crap....and its offensive...

Now lets jump back to the genuine person talk a few paragraphs back.... After much thinking and a conversation with someone.... Have I been over exposed to these people/events whom are very not genuine thus making me the person I am now... someone who is cold and wouldnt be descibed as genuine... someone who is needing to get my point across in a very judgemental way instead of a Christ centered genuine way? I believe so.... Do I want everyone to see my side, even though many may see it as hippie or "better then them"? Yes... I believe knowledge is power and that people are only in the wrong if they know better.... Do I need to be so pushy ehhhh probably not...... Did I post the picture to harp and call out people whom dont look further yes and no.... Like I said I need to change my delivery I think.... So I guess what I could say is instead of harp on me and think Im crazy be in prayer with me to be more informative and less shame bashing/demeaning of those whom dont know better and would be open to information I may have to share..... And no Im not rude.... I am strong willed and strongly opinionated when it comes to my daughter.... :)

End rant/blog....

-<3Kim